


Dispater went down to Stilben

by gumboy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22605919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumboy/pseuds/gumboy
Summary: Perhaps you know of the bard known as Charlie Daniels? No? Well he once sang a legendary song about another bard by the name of Scanlan Shorthalt and his friends known as Vox Machina.Okay. I just had a stupid idea in my head and had to get it out.All due apologies to Charlie Daniels and some of my inappropriate language.
Kudos: 6





	Dispater went down to Stilben

Dispater went down to Stilben  
He was lookin' for a soul to steal  
He was in a bind  
'Cause he was way behind  
And he was willin' to make a deal

When he came upon this small man  
Sawin' on a viol and playin' it hot  
And Dispater jumped  
Up on a hickory stump  
And said, "Gnome, let me tell you what.."

"I guess you didn't know it  
But I'm a viol player too  
And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you."

"Now you play a pretty good viol, gnome  
But give Dispater his due...  
I'll bet a viol of gold  
Against your soul  
'Cause I think I'm better than you"

The gnome said, "my name's Scanlan  
And it might be a sin  
But I'll take your bet  
And you're gonna regret  
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

Scanlan rosin up your bow and pepare Vicious Mockery  
'Cause Dispater broke the divine gate, and we could be in misery  
And if you win, you get this shiny viol made of gold  
But if you lose, Dispater gets your soul!

Dispater opened up his case  
And he said, "I'll start this show"  
And fire flew from his fingertips  
As he rosined up his bow

Then he pulled the bow across the strings  
And it made an evil hiss  
But Dispater became unnerved  
When Scanlan blew him a kiss.

When Dispater finished  
Scanlan said, "well, you're pretty good, old chum!  
But sit down in that chair right there  
while I play this viol with my bum!"

Percy get the trammels! Vox Machina, run!  
A fiend broke the divine gate, we might be done!  
Grog's in the brothel picking out ho's!  
Vex, pay retail? Oh hell no!

Dispater bowed his head  
Because he knew that he'd been beat  
And he laid that golden Viol  
On the ground at Scanlan's feet

It was then Dispater looked up and  
And saw he might be done.  
Because Vox Machina had shown up  
And Vex glowed like a fiery sun.

Scanlan said, "Fiend you might think I won  
But you have been deceived.  
Because my name is also Burt Reynolds  
And I'll tell you when you can leave!"

Percy get the trammels! Vox Machina, run!  
A fiend broke the divine gate, we might be done!  
Grog's in the brothel picking out ho's!  
Vex, pay retail? Oh hell no!


End file.
